Well... I'm gonna call Taylor in a little bit, but right now, we're officially on a break. I'm not sure how it's supposed to work but I guess I'll find out. Jon walked to Taylor's house in the snow and ice and freezing cold just to talk and comfort him; I was on the phone with him while he was making his 20 minute journey. So... I don't know. I am not really accepting the fact that the nothing is certain right now, and I'm really not accepting the fact that I don't know if I will go back to him. I'd love to: who wants things to change if they're okay right now? But that's the thing, something better could be waiting if you took a risk and gave change a chance. (Barf at that poetic sentiment). So yeah. I'm just kind of sad and disappointed and I'm just being realistic because relying too much on your dreams for optimism will just let you down in the end.

I played sudoku for 2 hours today. I'm really tired after being on the phone with Jon for 3 hours last night, first talking about Taylor, then Rebecca, then whatever nonsense, serious or not, we could come up with. He's a good guy. Change doesn't happen overnight and I am slowly trying to accept that.

Reading this:


for English class. It's really good.

Hmm... I need a good cry. Bring on the Grey's mothafuckaaaa