Saw Garden State for the first time just now. Yes i realize that its 4AM and I haven't slept a wink since 4PM when I took a mini-nap. Not the point. It was such a good movie. Hearing New Slang by the Shins gave me chills, the kind of chills you get when you make contact with that one person who just makes you feel like you could shit gold bricks. It was like that. I don't know exactly what it was about the movie that makes me like it so much but I'm glad it does. It makes me... calm. Like nothing really matters except being happy and not caring about anything else. It's not selfish and it's not obnoxious, it's just being happy. Not extremely happy where you're giddy as fuck, just kind of calm. Pleasant. Like you're in neutral mode and it's okay that the engine is running and you're burning through gas because right then, it doesn't matter. (holy fuck do i sound like a douchebag indie hipster asshole). I think the reason I like this movie so much is because it makes me feel the way I felt today, or rather yesterday, when Taylor kissed me and he had a kind of nervous worried half-smile because he didn't know how his future was going to turn out but he knew he loved me and he knew that I loved him. You'll know what I mean when it happens; it's like there's a gentle electric current between your lips and there's, and it leaves a pleasant tingling sensation that migrates to your stomach and makes you kind of shake or tremor. I don't know. Passion Pit's Sleepyhead (Elijah's Beat Generation Remix) reminds me of a summer sunrise, one of the first that you see when you're still on a school schedule and you happen to wake up at 6AM and you hate everything because it's the summer and you wonder why the fuck you're awake, until you see the sunrise. Then while the sun slowly climbs up above the horizon, you decide that it's time to go back to sleep, but waking up at 6AM was worth it because the sky was a couple dozen colors and you always missed it because you rushed through your mornings the way you rushed to class.
I look forward to the day that Taylor decides to open up to me and really tell me about his colorful past. I'm a little afraid, well a lot afraid, of what he might say, but I weighed the worst options and I, for the most part, would still be by his side. I guess I wouldn't want to know everything, but an outline with a few details would be nice. He says he's afraid that I will think he's crazy and that I would never want to talk to him again if I knew the things he did, but can things ever really be as bad as people think? I know they are some serious exceptions to this, but for the most part, things are exaggerated.
Could I sound like anymore of a motherfucking pseudo-deep, reflective, thoughtful asshole? Yes. But I really meant this post. So don't make fun of me please. :\
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