miss teardrop- felix laband

splash waterfalls- ludacris

late arrival

hello self. my schedule change went thru today, and I got a late arrival, 5th period lit with lem, and 7th period ap gov with schelzo. i seriously can't believe i got all that... when the bitch secretaries at guidance told me it couldn't be done. i'm pretty (no, really) excited for this. i know some colleges will look at that late arrival and think, what a slacker.. NEXT. but i think if they looked at the courses i've taken in its entirety and how i did in those classes, they'd see i'm pretty damn dedicated. well... not that dedicated actually. my drive to succeed had a late arrival of its own. only in the last school year do i really feel that crunch of doing my beyond my best to get into the college i wanna go to.

enough college talk, its the same old shit. i'm hungry, i think kanye west is an asshole but i still like his music

hmm

i'm bored and i twitter too much

SEN10RS LOL

HOT DAMNNNNN today oh today. First day of senior year. I drove to school, definitely woke up MAD late. My dad walked in at 622 and was like, "Hey you have school today..." It took a second for everything to sink in, then I rushed like a fucking mad man. Showered and got dressed in 5 minutes. A sandwich was so kindly made by my dad, which I ate for my breakfast. I was out the door by 638, which was when i should have been near the school. I got there in 10 minutes, which was surprising cause I thought I was gonna be late what with the traffic and excess of cars. Traffic pattern at school was alright, and parking was good. There were 2 accidents that I knew of today, one before and one after school. So damn ridiculous, I am NOT driving to school ever. The rampancy of aggressive asshole teen drivers and general dicks on 15 is NOT worth losing driving privs over, just cause I wanna drive to school. I did my makeup at school lol, my hair was shit, and I was so stressed lol. I saw my boy Tay Waldronnnnn, what a honey. Just kidding, I was so ready to walk up to him and punch him in the face... Idk why I'm so aggressive lol. Hmm, breakdown of my first day:

1- AP Lit: Dominic, Meadhbh, and Kalvin are in the class, friend-wise. I'm gonna try to make new friends in the class, the people are alright.
2- Physics: Mariam's in the class, so thank god for that. Carly, Bo, Jimmy Long, and Grace the special ed kid are too.. Carly is annoying as fuck.. Grace talks too much but thats excusable, Bo is already becoming the teacher's pet lol.
4- Chem II: My fave class so far! Kristie, Dominic, Casey his girlfrann, Anand, Rebecca, Delante lol, and Alex Carroll. Renberg is fucking hilarious and really upbeat. I'm gonna try and get a good teacher rec from her
LUNCH: I have the first lunch of the day and its packeddd with people I know. Kristie, Evelyn, Robert, Connor, Cheang, this new girl kristie met, Kristen Healy, Dom & Casey, Rebecca.. I feel like I'm missing some people
6- AP Stats: Danielle, Keith, and Mary Zheng. Legit class, looks manageable enough, and the workload doesn't seem too bad. Hadkdjksig, however you spell/say her damn last name, is chill. Seems like a good teacher.

Tomorrow my classes are AP Lit, ART HISTORY!!!, AP Gov w/ Jernigan (fuck), and Finance with Matt Ntiros. Should be alright.. I've got lunch w/ Philo tomorrow so that should be ok. The only thing I'm really worried about is not finding anyone to chill with in the mornings since most everyone drives now, they get to school whenever they feel like it. I, on the otherhand, have to take the bus, and I have no clue when the bus is gonna get to school. I know I get home at 3 fucking o'clock when I take the bus home. Sucks so hard.. I need to cop rides bad haha.

Anyway.. senior year. I'm not trying to expect too much from it, like I did soph year. I'm just gonna do the work and get things over with. I'm def not gonna be dumb and stay afterschool for no reason, and I'm not gonna skip my clubs and shit anymore. Monday-Thurs afterschool is for homework, clubs, and whatever else school-wise I have to do. Friday & Saturday are gonna be the only days I go out and do shit. Work hard, play hard. No more dilly-dally shit, I need to lock down my senior year. My goals are summa cum laude, no finals, passing AP scores but I really don't give a shit either way, B or higher in all classes, sleep before midnight, and NO SLEEPING IN CLASS. I really want to do well this year, and after the failure of last year's study habits and test scores, I'm not letting myself slip into an apathetic stupor. Sadly, I signed up for the SAT in October. I said I wasn't gonna bother taking it again, but I need to send the scores to schools I'm actually gonna apply to, and I just thought, what the hell just take the damn test again. If nothing changes, then that's the way it is and I'm not gonna fret over it. The main schools I'm trying to get into are:

-Bard College
-Cal State Long Beach
-VCU
-maybe VT, GMU, and/or some other local school.

I'm really trying to be realistic with my college goals; I'm not gonna apply to a place where I know I have no chance of getting into. There's no point in wasting my money or time, just to see if I can get in or not. This year is so serious; I know some people are like fuck it SEN10R STATUS FUCK THE FRESHMENNN, but this is our last year to make an impression for colleges. Blah all this college talk makes me tired. I'll leave you with this.

since feeling is first
who pays any attention
to the syntax of things
will never wholly kiss you;
wholly to be a fool
while Spring is in the world

my blood approves,
and kisses are a far better fate
than wisdom
lady i swear by all flowers. Don't cry
--the best gesture of my brain is less than
your eyelids' flutter which says

we are for eachother: then
laugh, leaning back in my arms
for life's not a paragraph

And death i think is no parenthesis

i do the figure 8's so concisely

wow its 330 am and im still awake. seriously? yes. im chillin to the tribe, lights off, eyes burning. back to school in a week and i can't be more excited. i need to get out of the house and away from my rents, but we all know how that is. going to cali fri-sun next week, so i got that to look forward to. other than that, my summer's dead. went to dream on friday with david, kristie, evelyn, and her 2 friends. that was chill. then we went back to kristie a little past midnight and chilled in her sketch basement. i am not a fan of hookah, i can say that much. i'd rather smoke regular cigarettes cause at least i know how much i'm doing. the second hand smoke sucked. but david was a damn pro, like a dragon version of a jimmy guidici champ lol. anyway...


applying to colleges! well not really, but i'm really narrowing down my choices.
1. Bard College; annandale on hudson, ny
2. Wesleyan University; middletown, ct
3. UChicago and/or UWashington.. i havent decided yet if i wanna apply
4. Cal State Long Beach!
5. VCU

bard is my drea/. i think i've said that alot already but i really mean it this time. green acres, new people, new place. 5 hours away from rochester lol, so i can still visit my girl kduong. im just really ready to go to new places, no matter where i go to school. college is what you make it, right? so im ready to make it cooltastic. its late, fuck off.

anyway, every year, friends seem to weed themselves in and out of my life. kinda sucks. but its ok. good to know my forever friends now instead of later. i guess you could say a lot of this is my fault.. and it is. i wont deny that. but how much time will i spend trying to make something work that won't? not that much time, i'll tell you that, if there's not much give. i'm psyched about senior year and the typical shit that goes with it. football games, prom. new friends, old friends. court yarddd and pranks (as if). oh and toga time. its gonna suck to say goodbye to everyone, and i mean everyone. even the people i didn't like all the much or talk to; they made my year what it is. its gonna suck to not be 5 minutes from everyone i love. we'll all be going our separate ways... some staying here in VA, i hope to go to NY, david going off to GA if all works out for him. i guess this is the time to live it all up.

looking back now, i can't really gauge if what i've done will yield the results i want, or if it was worth all the shit i put up with. maybe it was. i think i learned something? but what i do know right now is that i'm hungry as fuck and im craving qdoba nachos