13 days

of school remains! then the grueling task of hunting for colleges, how to get in, how to pay, what to do, and all that jazz begins. i kind of want to cop out and go to some shit-for-brains liberal arts school like bard or bennington because SATs/ACTs aren't required, i don't need an above 4.0 GPA to get into some better-than-thou state uni or private college, but i will have to be an excessive amount to come to school dressed for hipster success while not really learning anything structured. i have to take at least 2 different SAT subject tests in order to be ever considered to UCSB or UCSD, and i have to retake the SAT at least once or perhaps twice more. if all else fails, i should have GMU or VCU to fall back on.

i'm pretty terrified that i won't be able to get into a college of my choice because i don't have a 4.2 GPA, an above 2000 on the SAT, i haven't taken SAT II's or the ACT, i'm not a particularly outstanding student although i think i'd be able to get some solid teacher recommendations. my extracurriculars are rather lacking in variety and depth; i'm in 3 specific honor societies (science, english, and french), i do debate part-time, scholastic bowl but we always lose, but i'm gonna join the offish NHS next year and model UN. but honestly all i'm concerned about right now is having enough money my senior year to go on a summer roadtrip of sorts to cali. i'm foolish about my future because i used to believe i'd be a perfect student: perfect grades, perfect scores, perfect personality. but i'm so horribly flawed that i don't think any college would want me, except for NVCC. bummer.

alas its pretty nice out so i think i'll finish the chapter of harry potter book 5 i'm on and take a walk in my new newbie 578s

I LOVE THIS CEREAL!!!

i'm gettting really tired

i really want a softcover moleskine notebook


I'm getting exhausted. i want to cry. my spirits are tanking while my blood pressure is rising. i don't even know what i'm doing anymore or why i feel the way i feel. i'm tired of all the petty drama going around, and my seemingly endless patience. i don't know why i'm putting up with things the way i am. i'm getting scared that if i continue this... i'll put up with stupid bull shit when i'm older, when it comes to friendships and relationships. i want to be able to back my word up but i don't think i'll have the strength to.

there is something in my heart that is eating away at me.. but i have no idea what it is.

but i would rather party cuzzz

friday is just 2 days away!! gonna be a high of 80+, it'll be like the weather is blazeddddd up like it's 4/20. man o man, i love the warm weather. especially with kritty dewgong's lovely treat of essie's movers and shakers:

it looks hot and it goes on so well. no wonder everyone's acting like they know my name.

well i havent blogged in awhile.. nothin new. got this one d00d on my jockstrap like he knows me or something, shit. but i pretty much rejected that already but i feel sertaaa bad but yu know what it's just a HAIRFLIP. i been chattin up this one guy but its whatever cuz it's not gonna work anyways so i'm just chillin with my ladies. i love being single. i might bitch sometimes about, oh boo hoo and all that cal i want a boyfran etc, but really, i'm clean and free without being attached to anyone.

o i was on livejournal and i've found another college i'd like to visit.. UCSB.


i've got the SAT score for it, my grades far exceed their minimum, and well shit, it's kilo cali by the pound. the price is pretty hefty for a public uni, its about 28k, but hey its a good school. everything's up in the air right now though. i'm just excited to be a SENIOR 2010 in a few short weeks. only about 8 remaining until i am officially free from the chains of ap chem and junior year fuckery. i might go to prom this year but it depends on whether or not i can find the money for a decent, inexpensive sheet of fabric with which to clothe myself with. again its whatevsss

high school is barreling quickly by (like that verb choice? mixin up my diction, ya digG?) and i serta like it. i think of senior year as the early sunrise to the rest of my life as an "adult". i am the sun which shines for itself, i do not aim to warm anyone else. i can rise on my own, i set all alone, because i'll always be shining, and my name will be known
lol i'm dumb i kno i'm tired ok!

i have 2 dialectical journals to do, flyers to make for my class president campaign, and a chem quiz to study (fail?). o and a math test i'm pretty confident about but i'll probably fail. damnnnnnnnnn. fucking school work i swear to god i have the worst work habits EVER. i need to work on that but all i can think about is FRIDAYYY! SO YOU KNO WHAT? IT'S TITS

LICENSE'D!!!!!

HEYYYY



yayyyy!!!!! my rents said on saturday morning, theyll follow me in the bmw while i drive the truck and if i prove myself worthy to borrow the car, they'll let me use it for the day. wooooooooooo

birthday festivities

its the birthday cat, ushering in this post. evelyn called me at midnight to wish me a happy bday, then soon after getting off the phone, groggy as fuck, i celebrated by taking a shot of yac and chasing it with coke.



that is how all my cousins do it in the BAYY, so i gotta do like them. after that, i went straight to sleep. woke up to a million text messages. through out the day, i was constantly greeted, even by taylor w which made me lol. went to chik fila with ashley, evelyn, kristie, and bro bro to celebrate and it was super awesome. I carried this little gem around all day:



i get home finally and chill around. logged onto facebook with over 40 notifications, it was pretty ballin. its sorta sad that all these facebook comments wishing me a happy birthday make me smile lol. anyway, i take a nap, and wake up to my rents singing happy bday to me. they hand me a VS bag with underwear:



and another bag with an iHome dock and a wallet with 100 dollars in cashmunnaay in it. it was very nice of them!! then we go to chipotle to eat bday dinner. when i come home, im sitting in front of my computer, when my parents come in holding a cake and candle. they start singing again and i blow my candle out and make a wish.



it was most delicious but i refrained from eating nothing more than 2 bites. great birthday! so much love from everyone!!

thank you to everyone, i really do appreciate everything you do for me and everything you are to me.

hello post 70

i got the wallet back! it looks pretty new except for the purple BHS id card stain in the id holder. ehh, idk what to do with it now that i have it. maybe pawn it if possible, but i'll just let it sit in my backpack for a little bit. When he came over in history to return it, i said thanks, and he said "no problem!" as if he was doing me a favor. cool. then he started talking to me about some creepy chick stalking him because she's in love with his bff or something. whatevs, i just put my head down once he started talking.

thank god for jay larsen! his C+ on the chem quiz that nearly everyone failed is saving my ass cuz my teacher gave me the same version of the quiz, so i was just copying down the questions he got right.

um fast forward through the boringgg.........

DREAM SCHOOL:

located in the heart of claremont, cali. its a private liberal arts school just 30 miles from LA, holllla. good school, good crowd, good financial aid, good location. its pretty damn expensive, about 36K a year, and thats only tuition, not including room, board, etc. but the people they accept are scoring 2230's on the SAT, 32's on the ACT, and some of them are valedictorians/salutatorians. FML? a little. but im gonna work hard to possible be accepted, even though AP Chem is already dead to me. (hence, my need to cheat)

the taste of my future is bittersweet, along with this clementine